I asked my Facebook and Instagram followers what they thought were the biggest turn offs when dating someone new. A lot of people seemed to think that there isn’t much of a dating culture here in Ireland which I think is kind of sad! However I got a lot of feedback from both my male and female followers and I have to say I agree with most of what they said. There’s nothing worse than a bad date full of awkward silences and cringey moments, we’ve all been there!
So here’s a list of the most popular dating advice from my followers (Most of it applies to both men and women!!)
Get off your phone! – There is nothing more off putting than sitting across from someone who keeps checking their phone. It’s extremely rude and the other person will just think you’re bored/boring! What goes through her mind- ‘He’s checking the time again he must be bored off his tits.. Is he checking the score of the match? OMG what did he just go on Tinder!? I bet he has a girlfriend.. yeah that’s cool you just sit there and text your WIFE.. I wonder if he’d notice if I just left..?’
Give a genuine compliment – Chances are you’ve both made an effort to scrub up and look your best, especially if it’s a first date. In my opinion, one of the first things that passes a mans lips on a date should be a compliment. It sounds bad when I say it but come on I did tan last night, curled my hair and even shaved my legs for this so you better tell me I look good! It works both ways, he’s probably a bit nervous too so if you return the favour with a compliment you’ll both be feeling more confident and relaxed.
Cut your nails! I know this may seem like a random one but a lot of girls said they’re completely freaked out by guys with long finger nails – and I agree! It comes across as unhygienic and just plain creepy..
Do not talk about yourself too much! Dates are all about getting to know each other so it’s important to take an interest in the other person’s life too and to keep the conversation flowing. You don’t need to interview your date but when they ask you a question its nice to ask them the same one after you’ve answered. This seems pretty basic but it’s a common mistake people make – believe me!
Confidence is key but overconfidence can be a big turn off – During a ‘post date debrief’ I’m sure you’ve heard someone say ‘Yeah he was nice but he was a bit full of himself…’. I’ve seen many chances of a second date blown out of the water down to this. Try to remember that a lot of the time when someone seems a bit ‘up themselves’ or cocky it can come down to nerves or insecurities though so don’t judge them too quickly. Just be yourself and try to relax!
DO NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR EX. This applies to both men and women. You’re on a DATE. Do not bring up your ex. I once ordered chicken on a date and the guy goes ‘my ex loved chicken..’ Bitch I don’t care if your ex WAS A CHICKEN – Do not.
Don’t come on too strong.. If you come across as really keen from day one it can really freak people out and put them off. Try to play it cool even if you are secretly in love with them…
One word – CHIVALRY – Simple things like holding the door open for your date can go a long way. Good manners and gentlemanly behavior can earn you major brownie points believe me! A simple act of chivalry will have her thinking ‘wow he was brought up well and clearly respects women’ KEY.
Don’t moan – I find it so off putting being around people with negative attitudes. Who wants to listen to someone complain?! You don’t want to come out of a date feeling like you’ve had the life sucked out of you.
Avoid getting really drunk – Of course it’s fun to have a few drinks but getting really pissed on a first date is never a good look. You don’t want to wake up with the fear thinking ‘Oh god what did I say.. did we kiss? Jesus is that him in the bed beside me!? Thank fuck it’s my dog..’ That reminds me I once got really emotional telling a guy how much I loved my dog and I’d DIE if anything ever happened to her as my eyes filled with tears.. Too much.
Don’t be tight! On a first date the man should pick up the bill. That’s what 90 percent of my followers said and I agree. Usually the guy will be organising the date anyway so just pick somewhere you know you can afford. I would always offer to split the bill on a first date but then I’m very disappointed if the guy agrees to this. It’s not about the money at all, it’s just they way it should be (unless I know for a fact I’ll never see the chap again then I’d insist to split it to be fair). I’ve heard that some girls just sit there and expect the man to pay then don’t say thank you.. that’s not on either! If you move on to a bar after dinner then it’s the perfect opportunity for the girl to buy a couple of drinks. Neither one of you will look tight that way!
Have a laugh – Dating is supposed to be enjoyable! Even if you can tell by the first drink that they’re not ‘the one’ you can still have the craic and enjoy each others company. It’s brutal when people take themselves too seriously! I find it really attractive when guys have a good sense of humour and can laugh at themselves too.
